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Poppy Puppy Report Westminster 2015 Day 1
Posted on February 17, 2015 at 11:06 AM |
Most of us can’t be at
the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show so we settle watching the action on TV. Poppy Pruitt is serving as our pup on the
scene with all the backstage news and insights that don’t come across your
television screen. It is time for the
Poppy Puppy Westminster Report.
Yesterday was the first
day of competition and Poppy was busy as the breed classes were judged. Much like fashion models or movie stars the
dogs utilize all the tricks of the trade to look their best. She wants to share some highlights from
yesterday. There were lots of brushing,
teasing and primping on the benches. A
bit of a ruckus came about first thing when the Bulldog was refusing to remove
his lucky belly ring. The proctors
reminded him that no jewelry was allowed.
This precedent came about a few years ago when the Afghan Hound wanted
to wear a tiara and they wouldn’t let her.
It was a dog fight I tell you. The
Yorkie was having a terrible time trying to decide what color hair bow to
wear. His name is Bruce Jenner…go figure. An official
intervention occurred after the Whippet wanted to wear a Devo hat….get it whip
it, whip it good! Since relations with
Cuba have improved the Havanese was caught trying to bribe a judge with some
Cuban cigars and rum.
Poppy’s up close and
personal view lets you in on the scoop like the fact that the Blood Hound was
wearing false eyelashes. Of course we all pretty much knew for years
that the Puli wears hair extensions.
Poppy has also confirmed something that has been long speculated
upon. Yes, the Chow Chow is a client of the Bosley Hair
Club. She saw his membership card in his
back pocket. She also clarified why the
French Bulldog always refuses to grant interviews. She doesn’t even speak French. She speaks Mandarin. The Pug was almost disqualified when he was
caught selling knockoff Coach leashes in the alley. She can also confirm that the Bluetick Coon
Hound is still gun shy even after months of therapy. Poppy has also found out what the Scottish
Deerhound wears under his kilt, but she’s not telling. Animal rights protestors were boycotting the
event because the Fox Hound showed up wearing a fox fur stole. He has always been known to flaunt his
wardrobe even if it is in bad taste.
There was a great deal of
commotion when someone banged or clanged a metal table. The Tibetan Spaniel thought it was time for
temple. Most people are unaware but gambling has
always been a big problem at Westminster and looks like this year is no
exception. Already the Border Collie was
caught holding a dice game out in the alley by the dumpster and the Italian
Greyhouse was busy running a numbers game on Best of Show. Rumors of more dishonesty arose when the
Smooth Coat Chihuahua was asked to submit to a drug test. He has long been suspected of taking
steroids. They were going to ask him to
pee in a cup but they decided to have him do it in a thimble instead.
True to form the Irish Wolfhound
had stopped by the pub on the way in so he was going around the room challenging
everyone to a game of darts. The Alaskan
Eskimo dog almost missed her ring call.
She vacations in Florida and her plane was delayed. The groomers were then scurrying around trying
to cover up her tan lines. In contrast the Boston Terrier showed up
wearing snow shoes. The Beagle had been
pigging out on White Castles the day
before and she had to have an extender put on her collar because it was too tight. Did you notice how thick those ankles were on
the Greyhound? She looked like a Russian
weightlifter. She said she ate some potato chips and they
always make her feet swell. Poppy said
it looked as if the Shar-Pei had just gone and got some Botox injections.
When it comes to hair
there are all kinds of shady dealings.
You did know that the Standard Poodle’s pomp oms are pasties? Well they are. The Shih Tzu uses one of those hair Bumpits
to pump up her coiffure and the Old English Sheepdog is nothing but walking
hair gel! Poppy spoke briefly with the
Sheltie and true to their nature she was rather quiet and didn’t have much to
say. All this and it was only the first
day. Just wait until the cat fight starts
for the Best in Show this evening. Stay
tuned and Poppy will keep you clued in behind the scenes.
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